I found this on the website of Ads of the World. The younger me would have objected to the idea of working with my ex. Too many thoughts, fears, apprehensions. Then, there’s his new girlfriend. Of course, every girl ex-girlfriend would compare herself with the new girl. But that’s another story.
But this time, maybe I can be comfortable with my ex. I have respect for the guy. :)
Ah, I’m getting old.
Source: Ads of the World
The past week landed me on a state of limbo. If I were to be OA about it, I felt so incomplete, so unhappy. My office mates have been teasing me for spacing out. I have been known to immediately give a reaction–however witty, weird or morbid–to anything that is verbally sent out in the atmosphere.
I knew I’m officially lost in that transition from being in a romantic relationship to one that’s become undefined. Undefined because I cannot call us friends or lover or anything.
There were nights I felt so alone. I debated with my inner self if I will let pride or anger or being in love rule over me. But never once did I felt hatred against him. And from his side, he never ceased to be very understanding.
But do you know one thing that made me happy about this ending? We didn’t come to a point where bitterness ruled. Sure, there was pain. We were both hurt, we cried and laughed stupidly at the same time. But I think we cared enough for each other to look on the brighter side always.
He is still there for me. And I, for him. We made each other better. Good times. :)
I like bus rides.
But not here in Manila. If I’m riding a bus here in the metro, there would only be five to ten minutes interval among checking if I still have my bag, checking if the bus did not go beyond my stop and watching whoever it is I am seated next to. Manila bus rides gives birth to the praning in me, so to speak.
But whenever I am in Iloilo–especially Miagao–words are not enough to describe my bus ride bliss.
I think that bus rides are therapeutic. They make anyone think. And see the rest of the world from their side of the 3×4 bus windows. When I ride buses, I think of the good things which happened to me. Then, I would smile. I don’t know about you, but bus rides give me this enlightened and light feeling. When I step out of the bus, I feel like I just came from the comfort room–refreshed and *cough*, relieved.
It saddens me that I cannot do the same thing here in Manila.
If there’s another thing I miss in Iloilo aside from my family, it would be bus rides. And maybe that someone I can sit next to and hold hands with and not talk about anything–just taking it all in.
Sometimes, when I have nothing else to do except to lie down and wait for sleep to overpower me, I would think about the extremely bad things in life:
What will happen if I die? What will I die of and who will be coming to my wake? How useless I was for not being able to give back to my parents for all their hard work..
What will happen if I lose someone I love? Will I be crying as hard as those in television? Will there be times when I space out and find myself in a different place? What will I say or do if we meet again?
What will happen if I end up poorer than I am now?
I would cry just by thinking about all of these. And I never show my tears to anyone. They will just laugh at me and tell me I’m crazy or too paranoid, haha!
Five seconds later, when I exhausted my emotional self, I would think about happy and triumphant thoughts. (I don’t know about you, but I see this as an ‘exfoliating/rejuvenating’ process)
I would think about how happy I will be if I end up with someone I really loved and be able to share my future with him.
I would think about the children I will send to school—mine or not. I would think about how to reprimand them, teach them Math (a subject I am not good at) and watch them grow.
I would think about how will I be able to let my children taste how wonderfully I cook if I cannot cook right now.
And, I would smile until I sleep.
I met Wila a few days ago. She looked prettier than ever.
She is a sophomore law student from the University of San Agustin. I met her during our freshman year, when she and I were just stepping foot in UP. I cannot remember how we stuck together. But when four years saw me and her (along with a few others) through college, I knew she had become one of my best friends.
No dirty thoughts there, matey.
She likes Japanese anime and fastfood. She and I would order Kenny’s and aaaalways, she found it hard to finish her chicken.
I miss her girly sing-song voice. It is something really unique about her. A lot of people mistook it for Wila being a snob, but she never took them all badly. She is the type who does not care about what people think of her.
I often see her as a fragile person, a girl who needs to be taken care of. But she is strong. Millions of barbels away from me.
My other friends and I would often mimic the way she speaks and make it sound worse to annoy her. We would also mimic the way she moves, reacts and smiles. I realized it was one of the fun things we did a lot in college.
I remember my elementary days when I felt proud to have a pretty friend. My reasons for befriending pretty people were superficial before. Now, it got worse. KIDDING.
I miss Wila. I hope we can hang out again soon.
A good friend and I exchanged SMS yesterday. She told me that she gets guilty over opening websites that are not work-related.
I told her that I do the same, sometimes. Hihihihi. (Who doesn’t?) Getting your mind off of work for less than 5 minutes is healthy for: you, the non-work related websites, and your work as well.
We laugh at the idea that to function more effectively for the rest of the day and to put those websites away from your mind for the next hours are definitely NOT at the cost of your own job. As long as you complete your tasks for the day, that is.
Then she told me about two co-workers of hers who do not open “extra-curricular” websites at all during office hours.
I could not do that, I said. Unless I had someone to talk to while doing my work. Then again, you cannot just talk to the same person for a straight week and not run out of topics. Unless you are: the chatty type, talking with your soulmate, talking with good friends, talking for a living.
But even those who talk for a living need a “shut-mouth” sometimes.
Working people need to unload sometimes. This is something I have learned while I am studying. This is also something which I sometimes *ubo ubo* abuse, but I enjoyed abusing it, nevertheless.
The thing about being workaholic is, it is sometimes not healthy. So that we could function better and normally for the next hours, we need to get blank for a few seconds. This is not a liability for a company. It should, in fact, be made mandatory.
The Department of Tourism has recently released the newest tourism slogan for the Philippines. This is in partnership with BBDO Guerrero, one of the top advertising firms in the country.
Honestly, I liked the first one, Pilipinas Kay Ganda. It is very Filipino. It is humble, simple and direct to the point. However, it has SEO problems (people will be looking for Philippines, not Pilipinas) and many people said it looked like a rip-off from a in Poland.
This one is more simple and direct. It has more substance than Wow! Philippines and Pilipinas Kay Ganda put together. It makes one think less hard about why he is putting off his vacation in the Philippines. True, it has yet to be catchy like Malaysia’s. But for sure, the Department of Tourism and BBDO Guerrero put in a lot of effort in ensuring that the next logo is scandal-free. It has no SEO problems and is purely original.
Yes, it is!
I have met Sec. Mon Jimenez in person and from what I saw and heard during that one-hour session with the Tourism and Heritage Information NetworK in Cebu City, he is a man of dignity and substance. He wants only the best for the Philippines and will do everything in his power to carve this country in the “world tourism map”.
Kudos to all the effort of the DOT for the Philippines! Let us critique constructively to help our country move forward.
The people at home are teasing me. They said I’ve become more selfish. Hahaha!
What they said was entirely true. I was and still am selfish. I work too hard. I seldom spend time with them. I am even more stingy.
Father: “Ikaw, kung i-text ka Monday, Friday ka pa ga-reply.” Awts.
Mother: “Abi pagturog don, indi sagay pulaw. Ikaw lang da mamanggaranon eh.”
Brother: “Te, indi mo gid ko pagtaw-an ka dang ginakaon mo?”
Sister: “Binli man ya ayam.”
Translation:
Amay: Text back ASAP, you!
Iloy: Sleep now, pay later.
Utod nga lalaki: Im hungry too, you know.
Utod nga babaye: Arf!
Whew. That was hard. Hahah!
But honestly, yes. I am even more selfish that I’ve lost more weight from too much work. That’s why they are pressuring me to go home for the holidays and fatten up. (Execution date is near, siguro.)
But, as pissed as they are with how delicately I am handling myself, I am so glad to be able to go home. XD
When I was in high school—no boyfriend, many crushes—I often wondered why boys needed to ask girls if they stand a chance with them before they actually court them.
“If I would court you, do I have a chance?”
The question always puzzled me. Not only was it a dead giveaway for boys, it would also defeat the purpose of courtship.
Why not go ahead and bola the hell out of her? If you’re lucky, good for you! If not, find another one.
Why not become the adventurer, the scout, the pregnant girl who did away with the ultrasound?
Then I realized, I wasn’t thinking about their feelings. The adventurers. Of course they’d want to have something solid to step on. Testing the waters would be a nice way to invade and evade. Invade if you indeed stood a chance and evade if otherwise.
But, that would be boring. There is nothing like the hurt and tears caused by heartbreak.
Good for the reboundees. The Manang selling Red Horse. The stingy barkadas.
