How It Went.

It rained during our patronal fiesta.

This single phenomenon discouraged a lot of people from coming. I cried (drama, I know. XD) when I heard that he cannot come because of it. Miserable, eh?

An hour and a good bath later, I realized that maybe it happened because it was meant to. It made me realize that while I was able to go home and enjoy the holidays with my family, I cannot have everything–especially not this weather’s favor.

Anyway, a lot of people still came. And he made me realize that having each other is already something to be really happy about.

I will be posting photos later.

Videoke sessions with people who used to be strangers.

I miss these people.

This videoke session happened over four months ago, and I am wondering if it will happen again. Some of them may not be the people whom I have known for more than a year, but it seemed that there is instant friendship between us. One that has a chance of lasting forever.

:)Hope we can have one of these again.

100 Sorries, A Happy Find

100 sorries

If I could only speak
100 words,
I would spend it all to say I’m sorry
Even when you turn away.

I would use them all to make you stay
And be by my side always.
For I won’t need thoughts absurd
If I can’t have my 100 words.

I would use them to make you happy
When your sun goes far, far away.
Or I would call out to the sun a hundred times
So it will come back and you will be mine.

If I could only speak a hundred words
I would not think of any other things
Except to wait for the day
When I can finally say, “I’m sorry.”

A Happy Find

We lost it one day
And we were too anxious
To know where it went
But all thoughts disappeared,
When we found it.

We lost it one day
and it worried you and me.
For we might never
Spend another lifetime with it
Then the good news came:
We found it.

We lost it one day,
On that hut by the sea
The wind blew and the waters splashed,
Bu we found it anyway.

I found you.
You found me.
And that pinch of happiness
We yearned to see.

Something to keep me going on (minus the alcohol)

I don’t like beer or most wines. Also, I do not like to drink when I write. Will have to barter those glasses with food. Any type will do. :]

Image from PRDaily

Conversations with a stranger

I have this weird fetish of having conversations with random people.
Stalker-ish? Yep. I hope I’m not going to be jailed for that.

It would be nice to strike a small talk with someone you don’t know and enjoy it. It would be nice to hear new answers, new thoughts, new perspectives. It would be fun to know what movie he or she enjoys, what are the type of music he or she prefers, and the kind of people who he or she values or lets go of.

It would be fun to find comfort in knowing that you two might not meet again.

This actually reminds me of the movie, Serendipity, which I watched again a few days ago. But not in the romantic sense, though. I am the type who gives value to good conversations as much as watching great movies and eating the richness out of chocolates. Somehow, talking to a complete stranger who values good conversations takes the loneliness out of me.

I tried this many times already. And every time, it would bring back the comfort I can never find in conversations with friends and family. To a woman sitting with me in the front passenger seat of the jeepney. She talked to me about her child, and I, about being one years ago. And even though our chat was interrupted by the end of the trip, I felt good. I felt happy.

While waiting in line, an old man casually dropped a question which I, the bored one, replied to. He laughed and everything started.

I was also able to talk to a guy of my age. He seemed carefree and laid-back. We talked about the unimportant things, and I was surprised to know that the both of us were able to extract sensibilities out of them. We found ourselves laughing endlessly. It was one of the funniest days of my life. And now, he’s my boyfriend. :)

Weeks ago, I was wondering why I could not give the same level of reaction (be it happiness or disappointment) as compared to Jennie’s when we watch movies. She would cry. I would wonder why (even though I know the movie is sad).

Now I know: The reactions movies were able to extract from her, I got from people. :)

John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale in Serendipity

Si Sandra at si Sophia

ni J. Dennis Teodosio

Lagi tayong pinupukol ng kantiyaw
Dahil hindi natin kinasanayan limahid at galos

Ng luksong-baka at tumbang-preso. Kaya madalas
Pinipili nating magtago sa malaking aparador

Sa kwarto ni Tiya Bebang. Doon walang tumutukso
Gaano man kalutong ang ating mga hagikhikan.

Napagsasaan natin masasayang sandaling walang
Balyahan o bruskong harutan. Minsan kinati

Tayong gayahin hilig na laro nina Ate. Humiram
Tayo ng matitingkad na kulay sa bahaghari

At salit-salitan silang ginamit upang iguhit, buhayin
Sa nakatungangang puting kartolina,

Dalawang manikang papel ng ating pantasya.
Hinayaan nating ikurba ng talim ng gunting

Kanilang alindog, hubog, kabuuan.
Hindi tayo nagkamayaw sa galak nang mamalas

Kakaibang likha ng ating imahinasyon.
Ang isa, pinangalanan mong Sandra, pagkilala

Sa pinipintuho mo sa eskwela. At ang isa,
Binansagan kong Sophia, ang dahilan hindi mo

Nabatid, Tol, dahil inilihim kong kusa.
Sa mga taong mabilis na lumipas,

Higit na naging maigting ating pagkakaibigan.
Hindi natin namalayan, dalawang pirasong papel

Ng ating kamusmusan nagkaroon ng hininga, puso,
Dugo’t laman. Si Sandra iyong pinakasalan.

At naging ako si Sophia wagas sa iyong nagmamahal:
Ni walang kapalit na inaasam kung hindi manatili

Sa loob ng aparador na pinagtataguan at buhayin,
Pag-ibig na hindi maibibida sa mga kumpare at inuman.

This is one of the poems contained in the book, Ang Ladlad by Danton Remoto and a colleague (whose name escaped my mind). I think it is really sad and unfortunate. When I read this to my friend, she cried. I think that more than everybody else, closet gays are the ones who have the most number of ‘inner battles’, the man vs. himself blah that we usually pick up from our Gender and the Community subjects.

I feel for them in this case, because I believe that there is a gay personality within me (seriously) and most people I know. Sige lang ah, just be happy lang ta, mga kapwa ko bakla. :))

honesty in writing

I think it is a conventional truth that when people receive their first paycheck, they are either attacked by their stingy side or by their shopaholic selves. Or, was it just me?

When Jen and I did, we met with another friend, Jimma, and had a date at SM. We decided to buy “vanity stuff”. Well, I don’t consider myself vain because I have many pimples and my face isn’t usually among my top priorities. I am still the ‘normal’ type. Or however do you want to call that. I just put on some powder, lotion and all the other basics, and I’m good to go.

But not this time.

I told my uptight self that I am aging and I have to be careful starting now. So off we went to a beauty shop and took a lot of bottles from shelves and paid for them. Now, our aesthetic selves will be pleased. How about a little food for the brain?

[Jennie and I belong to a circle of friendship that are addict to books—usually the Booksale versions where the prices do not go beyond P75]

As it turned out, she was looking for a book by Ricky Lee, “Para Kay B”. She told me that she really has to have a copy of that book. But since it cannot be found it Booksale, NBS had to be it.

When she found it, I said what about me? [Hell, I still have a lot of unread books.] My eye was caught by a yellow-covered book showing a half naked man—with this back turned—with wings. “Ang Ladlad” by two of the members of the Ang Ladlad Partylist. I like reading gay writing. I think that it has most of the honesty that this world has lost. And besides, I like to read works made by teachers. And the greatest part, it doesn’t cost much. [P 195 in National Book Store, SM City Cebu]

Let me tell you about the book next time. What I can now afford to share is that I didn’t regret buying it. And that it wasn’t a timely book.  These guys are really good.

(There’s a photo of this book if you fancy scrolling down. :D)

basted.

I wonder why libraries do not reciprocate my love for books.

I was beginning to form a negative impression on ASchoolI’dRatherNotName a few hours ago even before I went there. These weird vibrations came to me even when I was just sitting on the jeepney heading for Iloilo City.

Rewind.

My thesis partner and I planned on visiting this school’s library for our paper. We did the necessary formalities which were required of us—checked and double-checked the ASchoolI’dRatherNotName’s library availability—and went there as early as our lazy feet brought us. Since we arrived too late for lunchtime (12:40PM), we took photos of our weird selves first. By some crazy thingamajig, we were informed that the library will not cater to researchers until 2PM that day. Goodness, they could have informed us earlier so we would not have wasted our time waiting for them to finish their business.

A bit upset and disappointed, we headed to the Center for West Visayan Studies and decided to do our research there first. Half past two, we headed back to the ASchoolI’dRatherNotName library. I erased the remaining traces of smile in my face and showed I had this bitchy side when faced with useless rules.

The baggage counter boy, who informed us of the 2PM library availability, was not briefed properly. Clearly, there has been a misunderstanding and my thesis partner and I were in the middle of the chaos. Shit, I thought.

Good thing, their assistants were objective people. They were helpful enough to explain the rules and help us search for the books that we need. But I vowed that unless my thesis will die, I won’t visit that library again.

not something new

I left home last Sunday with clogged nostrils—or so I thought. Funny because flu usually reminds me that rainy season has indeed touched Iloilo City, made a side trip to our house and gave me flu.

All the way to Super (marketplace/ terminal of jeepneys bound to different towns in Iloilo), I was sneezing, blowing on a handkerchief and wiping my nose. I remember during high school, a classmate teased me, “Eww!” as I was blowing on a towel. Partly, the fault was mine because I did not do it with the proper timing. Just as the laughter died down, I blew hard. Then my kind seatmate loudly said, “Ti ano gid? Nasip-on man tanan nga tawo. (So what? Everybody gets flu anyway.) Duh!” Thank God for wonderful seatmates!

And from that day on, when someone blows loudly in my class, most of my classmates would look back at me.

Another funny thing was, when I get flu, I get to change my voice. Normally, my voice is either a boring monotone or a childish/teenager –ish one. But when I get flu, I get nasal voice/man voice. More often than not, when I get a call, their reply to my ‘Hello?” was, “Pwede kay (insert my name here)?”

Once, I got to be excused from a mock thesis presentation, because the teacher said, he cannot take me seriously when I began speaking.

Having flu also helps us avoid stench which our nose do not need to smell. It is also an sign that our antibodies are active—and are fighting back the harmful viruses that are plaguing our system. Plus, it is the perfect excuse to be absent or tardy.

For a skinny person like me, having flu—just like not eating veggies or drinking milk—is not something new, after all.

isang araw, pumunta kami sa City Proper, kami ay nawala

“People can be helpful. In fact, they are more afraid of being called unhelpful than unreliable”.

This I learned when a friend/classmate and I went to Iloilo City last Wednesday to personally hand-in the letters for an event which we helped organize with SM City Iloilo.

There are only 10 of us enrolled under this advertising class and we were divided into five teams targeting five main areas in Iloilo City: Molo, Jaro I, Jaro II, Mandurriao and City Proper. Fortunately for Jennie and I, we got the City Proper area, with only 11 letters to deliver. Plus, I think I have scoured that area oftentimes to look for cheap materials for school. Unfortunately for us—and unlike all the other teams—the schools in City Proper were generously distanced from each other.

Off we went, hands laden with letters and some posters to give away. The first few schools were easy to find (we had a ‘plan of action’ the night before, to save on fare and of course, effort). The principals, guards, and school staff were accommodating and gracious. Even the traysikad drivers were adept at erasing our doubts when it comes to approximating distances. When there were only three schools left however, it seems fate wanted to add thrill to our adventure.

After all, Mr. Sun made sure that heat and UV rays were not a problem.

We were looking for a school with the acronym UUCP Nursery and Kindergarten School. From Montes I Elementary School, a kind canteen attendant informed us that we should ride a Parola Jeepney up to Corner Valeria, then ride a Mandurriao/Hibao-an PUJ to Go Pun Building where we should ask for directions on how to get to Corner Delgado-Liberation Street.

First glitch: We rode the wrong jeepney. The good thing was, as we were about to pay, the passengers informed us of our mistake.

Second glitch: Most Parola Jeepneys going to Corner Valeria were full. The good thing was, Manong Sari-Sari Store(we forgot to ask his name) negotiated with the traysikad driver to bring us to Cor. Valeria for only 20 pesos.

Third glitch: The two guards, one gasoline attendant, two passersby, one tindera, two college girls, one tambay, one family of seven, three government workers and three grade school students gave us false/lacking/unsure information. So for an hour and a half, Jennie and I were going to and from different ‘eskinas’ in Delgado, Fuentes and one other street (I forgot its name due to severe tiredness and thirst).
THERE IS NO ‘The good thing was…’ HERE.

Fourth glitch: Our feet were about to give up. Even the occasional jeepney rides could not make up for the long walks and the pain of discovering that we went to the wrong street.

The sound of the bell at Sun Yat Sen, the last school we went to, signalled that our task was finally over (and we can now die). It made Jennie and me jump for joy (we forgot how tired our feet were). Somehow the feeling of riding the jeepney that will take us to Robinson’s Mall—our last stop before heading home—is very satisfying.

See, people were really helpful. The heads of schools were very grateful that we took time to deliver the letters personally. Ocassional “diin kamo makadto day haw (Where are you girls heading)?” and “Ah, sa (insert name of street here) na siya (That’s in _________)” occupied my near-tired mind before I fell asleep riding the ‘home-y’ familiar PUJ bound for Miag ao.

For an enjoyable and tiring yet very fulfilling errand, I sure would like to do it again—as long as it does not rain, though. 