The Enigma That Is Mr. _

There will always be this person who will be an enigma to you.

He and you were not classmates. He and you do not belong to the same clique. He and you do not share common interests. He and you have not really shared a conversation.

But you found yourself admiring him. Because of how he faces life with a sarcastic tongue and a brilliant mind that shocks even those who take a bath and comb their hair everyday.

My friends and I agree that this person is every inch an ideal man for any girl. But he seems unlucky when it comes to love. For chrissakes, he deserves to be loved! But how cruel the world is, for letting him be among those who love—only he does not get his love back.

He is one-of-a-kind. As I write this, I sometime wonder if I ever had a crush on him. No, you would not fall for his looks. It would be because of his brilliance, his wit, his words.

Luck is the future girl, we think, as we see him pass by, ready for the next class. His eyes never look kind.

An All-out War Declaration Against Snotty Jeepney Drivers and Konduktors

photo taken from Google

1. Jeepney drivers and konduktors are badassing Filipino passengers but they are very nice to foreigners.

2. All tall passengers experience ‘ARAGUYSHITNAKABUNGGOULOKO’ once in their lives. I remember seeing a girl looking angrily at the jeepney’s upholstered ceiling when her head hit it while she was clambering up to get seated. When this happens to me, I laugh at myself for being too tall. Sometimes, this is a compliment, I guess.

3. Jeepney drivers who smoke do not put “No Smoking” signs in their jeepneys.

4. Jeepney drivers and konduktors who did not tie/secure their passengers’ bags properly were made to pay fines as high as P 1500. And when you are few of the lucky ones who get to ride in the same jeepney after the incident and you are carrying bags (never mind the sizes), they are going to ask you to pay exorbitant fees just so they could get back what they lost.

5. Konduktors and drivers delight at the sight of a sardine can-ish jeepney. Five minutes later when stopped by an LTO Officer, they grimace as they hand over their licenses.

6. Poor men. You pay in full but are made to give up your seats for people you do not even know.

7. If you have long legs, I would suggest sitting in front. Or suffer leg cramps because your legs are abnormally sticking out in the aisle. But if you are wearing shorts, be careful when sitting in front. Some drivers “accidentally” brush them.

8. Jeepney drivers shout at passengers who do not “haybol”. Regardless of age or state of health.

9. Jeepney drivers dish out nasty side comments to passengers who are wearing shorts but paid student fees. They never thought that UP exists.

10. When not told otherwise, jeepney drivers develop the habit of carelessly tossing bags/luggage on top of their jeepneys.

11. Some jeepney drivers and konduktors do not take passengers who fall short of going places indicated in front of their windshields. Sometimes they do, but then it rains complaints.

12. No matter how snotty drivers and konduktors are, they are in the opposite mode when there is a camera present. Or LTO Officers.

13. Jeepney drivers and konduktors turn into episodic versions of Charo Santos when they feel that they are being ‘abused’ (kulang bayad mo or gareklamo ka).

14. Almost always, they would nudge you to sit tighter together even when there is no more space to fart.

15. Jeepney drivers are guilty of blaring speakers. And they complain when they do not hear a passenger calling out for them to brake up.

16. When it rains, all your pores get 5-minute showers before the driver decides to put plastic covers.

The good thing is:

The mortal enemies of snotty jeepney drivers: properly briefed mothers.

It gnaws.

Usually, I would be jumpy and nervous when talking to my crush only—until that day.

We—Bemjo, Jimma and Wila—were queuing up in the Cash Office to pay for our change of matriculation forms. Since they arrived before me, they were separated by a few other people away from me. When their numbers were called, I was left in the seats along with other students whose faces I recognize but whose names I could not remember.

Then one of them—a classmate in one of my GE classes—asked me about my thesis and my plans after graduation. I was flabbergasted. I mumbled I few words I could not even understand. Reality is pounding on me and I was waist-deep in a quicksand of the unknown. Naks! Hahaha!

When it was finally my turn to pay, I was glad to leave. I felt I could not entertain more questions of the sort. It made me realize how ‘plan-less’ I was. But, like any other lazy procrastinator, I am not yet going to answer that ‘warning’ from reality. Maybe months from now, I will. I am just too lazy to think about it now. Kill meeee. XD

diary of a disconcerted

Disclaimer: No animals were harmed in the creation of this project.

How would you like a pepperoni and cheese pizza with 10 times as many toppings as it can carry? Or how would you like to go to somewhere far away where your words can be as randomly said as your thoughts?

And how would you like for somebody—just somebody—to ruin these plans?

Perhaps due to an over-excited friend, or the Disconcerter’s divine knowledge of taking note of all the holidays in your life, you accidentally find your seemingly perfect plan thwarted. It was carefully laid down: the house you are going to stay in, food is taken cared of, free transportation, and the day-to-day schedule of activities are as superbly imagined as a couple’s first honeymoon.

Then, bang ‘em! The Disconcerter comes in and decides that the fun must not be yours alone.

It’s like being dumped, failed in an exam or thrown eggs. As the yolk slides down from your eyes to your nose, you feel the loss of a dream vacation. What then? What shall you do? Do you grab a cane and bang him? Do you call your dream vacation off?

NO.

Go on with it and do not mind him. If he wants to jump in, let him be. But do not do the honor of inviting him. If he finds out about it, let it be. If he doesn’t, the dream vacation can still go on perfectly.

What do you do if he discovers anyway and sees you someplace? “Hey, friend! Can I just spend my vacation in your place?”
• Do not mind his tantrums. You are there for a vacation, not to earn a prince’s trust (nor his riches)
• Do not go out of your way for him. Whose idea was the vacation anyway?
• Defend your stand and never let him stick his thing in your…plans. Going green, aren’t you? Hehehe.
• Think of and talk about things that he cannot relate to. What’s the point of engaging in a conversation with the devil that ruins your plans?
• When he starts taking over, shift your attention.
• Ignore. The Big ‘I’ is still the best option should all the other things go awry.

A great philosopher once said that even the most evil of things have a gem in them. Your vacation should have one too. Never let a day pass without doing something which you really enjoy—even if it means being thwarted—again.

how to kill the green bag

I breezed through the titles and synopses of The Philippine Daily Inquirer’s online news feed early this morning—my attempt at gradually decreasing my ‘ignorance’ on the latest news. Somehow, the newspaper in the dorm area cannot seem to find its way back into the counter after use.

I saw under the Lifestyle Heading that green bags (hand bags, purse, shoulder bags and the like) have become the top picks for accessories due to the proliferation of the ‘Eco Bags’. I have learned from my Planning the Advertising Campaign class that SM Prime Holdings is one of the malls which have exerted great efforts in promoting the green consciousness among its shopper. And nope, I am not promoting SM.

Our teacher told us that SM City Iloilo has tried to squeeze in their ‘Green Bag Project’ in almost every competition or event which the mall holds. However, they have also been constantly failing at it.

Here are the reasons why I think the Green Bag Project does not leave first base:

1. The Human Nature. This is the greatest hindrance. It is simply hard to convince people to bring another bag to the mall. Yeah, they can squeeze it inside their clutch bags, but it takes too much space. It’s not like they’re going to church and proceeding to the market anyway. Plus, people are also forgetful (or they pretend to be), so the Bring Your Own Bag every Wednesday idea does not work.

2. The Strategy. The scope of the Green Bag Project is limited for the SM Supermarket shoppers only. Maybe—just maybe, if SM makes it mandatory for all its tenants to use it as their ‘official bag’ (if the tenants are not using organic or paper-based products), the Green Bag Project might become a hit.

3. In the House. SM Staff are not even using them anyway, why bother?

4. The Role Model Concept. Media has the power. If the green bag becomes visible in the hands of some actor slash actress while he or she is shopping, surely, it will hit the streets. Charlene Gonzales is one of SM Department Store’s endorsers. If they cannot convince her to tote their green bag, the project will not go anywhere. In a nutshell, the advertising strategy is weak.

5. The Gavel. The Philippines is still not ready for the green revolution, in my opinion. One, there is still no law passed about using as much green slash organic bags while shopping. Sta. Barbara in Iloilo City has started banning plastics but this is Iloilo—only a microscopic part of the big elephant which is the Philippines. I do not think Metro Manila is ready for it. Two, if the law or bill will be passed, how sure are we that it is not going to the shelves? Three, will it be strictly implemented and monitored?

6. And probably the second most important, bringing a green bag to the mall is probably the last thing that every shopper would think of. The question of why are we going to the mall is and will forever be limited only to one answer: to shop. That and nothing else.

I might be sued for this, hahaha! I am just hoping that SM will take it constructively. Peace out! :D

SM City Green Bags by Manuel Baldemor

what i feared

I fear I might be dyslexic.
I fear I might have cancer.
I fear I have inherited the hereditary tuberculosis (from my father’s side).
When I saw ants on my clothes, I feared I might have diabetes, so I underwent a CBC exam, only to find out I’m perfectly fine.
I fear I might have scoliosis, since I started to have shoulder and collar-bone pains.
I fear I might have heart problems because my hear thumps very hard when I experience strenuous activities like seeing my crush or running after the tricycle whose driver did not hear me or laughing so hard on a joke which somebody else did not find funny at all.
I fear I might die at an early age for lack of Vitamin C.

These I fear from high school to sophomore year in college, when I had time to worry about them. Now, I am too busy (read: lazy) to think about them. The last hospital check-up I had was when I was only about 10 or 11 years old. I hate hospitals. They are as scary as a lonely desert.

It’s not that I do not fear them anymore. I still do. However, they get overshadowed by horror movies, unpredictable professors and love life assumptions, harhar.

“Mapatay na kung mapatay ah. Masinadya nalang ko danay. Hahahah!”

so, even Charice succumbed to Botox

For women ages 40 and up, perhaps Botox has served its purpose well more. But for 18-year olds? I don’t think so.

Two jaws (mine and my friend, Bemjo’s) dropped when an article from the Philippine Daily Inquirer headlined: “Charice Botox causes Net uproar”. No, my friend and I were not Charice fans, but we were Filipino-born and bred as well. No matter where stardom takes her, we will nevertheless want to know the updates.

Going back to the jaw-dropping news, we were momentarily distracted from our personal intimate relationships with different websites when I saw the article’s title. Charice doing something like this is totally against the “act your age” issue.

Botox, however mild or irregular, in my opinion, is still harmful for teenagers—especially for those who do not exactly NEED them. According to reports, Charice underwent Botox and thermage under the controversial “Cosmetic Surgeon of the Stars”, Dr. Vicki Belo.

In my opinion, Charice should not continue with the treatments anymore. I am sure that the whole Botox idea did not come from her alone. It must be the word “pressure”. She need not have to endure the pain while other people—however skilled—stick needles into her skin. Needles are still horrific inventions that should be only intimate with clothes.

www.medic8.com states the following as one of the possible side-effects of Botox treatments:

headache
flu-like symptoms
temporary eyelid droop
nausea
squint/double vision
twitching of the eye
facial pain
redness at the injection site
muscle weakness

While Botox ‘reshapes’ the face the way we want it, it also reshapes our identity in a way. Yes, I know it does not make Charice less of a Filipina, but it certainly makes her less natural. Why repair what isn’t broken?

What does this news signify? The most dangerous and alarming is that teenagers who idolize Charice or happen to see that their faces were sculpted the same way as hers will find Botox to be a fad/necessity for vanity purposes. This reminds me of a similar article written by a classmate. She said that “parents are too eager for their kids to grow…”

It saddens me and my friend to have read about this news. As we start digesting the issue, we were momentarily quiet. Another sad thing is, we somehow were not surprised that Charice would undergo Botox. We just did not expect her to do it sooner.

(Yeah, OK. I know this post will be drowned by the million others of the same topic. But i’m posting it anyway. LOL)

To the one named Almost:

Somebody once told me that he can never imagine the two of us being together—as more than friends, of course. I can’t too.

I don’t know why. I sort of thought that we never got into the same lateral view of things. I do not enjoy computer games as much as you do, nor do you love talking endlessly as much as I do. We were never the soon-to-be-couple.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t love you. I am just the type of person who, once you inject new information, it would not leave my mind for a few weeks or so. That was why I wrote this, and probably the reason I am thinking of you now.

That Somebody I was referring to made me realize the possibility of us being together. I refuse to think of the effect it will have on my usual perky and carefree attitude towards our group. I’m sorry; I just cannot be my usual self if ‘it’ happens. It will affect a lot of people, and I hate complications. I do not want that we create a gap between us as friends. It must never happen.

The thing you have, it will pass. I know because I’ve been there. Don’t worry, you can curse me or shout at me or even call me names, but I guess I can endure, for the sake of friendship.

From the one who Might Be

Boredom really is a great stimulant to write corny/cheesy stuff. This is fiction, by the way. 

what boredom can do to a weird, genderless person

So i’m bored on a Wednesday.

no food.
no drink.
slow internet connection.
humid atmosphere.
grainy television.
still asleep friends.
no load.
no engaging book.
no interesting chat with an interesting person.
(brain freeze due to heat)

what’s a Homo Sapien to do?