Si Sandra at si Sophia

ni J. Dennis Teodosio

Lagi tayong pinupukol ng kantiyaw
Dahil hindi natin kinasanayan limahid at galos

Ng luksong-baka at tumbang-preso. Kaya madalas
Pinipili nating magtago sa malaking aparador

Sa kwarto ni Tiya Bebang. Doon walang tumutukso
Gaano man kalutong ang ating mga hagikhikan.

Napagsasaan natin masasayang sandaling walang
Balyahan o bruskong harutan. Minsan kinati

Tayong gayahin hilig na laro nina Ate. Humiram
Tayo ng matitingkad na kulay sa bahaghari

At salit-salitan silang ginamit upang iguhit, buhayin
Sa nakatungangang puting kartolina,

Dalawang manikang papel ng ating pantasya.
Hinayaan nating ikurba ng talim ng gunting

Kanilang alindog, hubog, kabuuan.
Hindi tayo nagkamayaw sa galak nang mamalas

Kakaibang likha ng ating imahinasyon.
Ang isa, pinangalanan mong Sandra, pagkilala

Sa pinipintuho mo sa eskwela. At ang isa,
Binansagan kong Sophia, ang dahilan hindi mo

Nabatid, Tol, dahil inilihim kong kusa.
Sa mga taong mabilis na lumipas,

Higit na naging maigting ating pagkakaibigan.
Hindi natin namalayan, dalawang pirasong papel

Ng ating kamusmusan nagkaroon ng hininga, puso,
Dugo’t laman. Si Sandra iyong pinakasalan.

At naging ako si Sophia wagas sa iyong nagmamahal:
Ni walang kapalit na inaasam kung hindi manatili

Sa loob ng aparador na pinagtataguan at buhayin,
Pag-ibig na hindi maibibida sa mga kumpare at inuman.

This is one of the poems contained in the book, Ang Ladlad by Danton Remoto and a colleague (whose name escaped my mind). I think it is really sad and unfortunate. When I read this to my friend, she cried. I think that more than everybody else, closet gays are the ones who have the most number of ‘inner battles’, the man vs. himself blah that we usually pick up from our Gender and the Community subjects.

I feel for them in this case, because I believe that there is a gay personality within me (seriously) and most people I know. Sige lang ah, just be happy lang ta, mga kapwa ko bakla. :))

on TV series and being glued

I had wanted to view this for soooo long. But due to laziness, I did not get a copy of the different cycles until last Thursday.

America’s Next Top Model would have had me going crazy if I were in high school or if I have seen the first episode of the first cycle. I would have cried, thrown things around and starved myself to save money and fly to the USA to be one of them. Thankfully, I did not.

And now that I have seen other American and Japanese TV series like Satorare, FRINGE, Gossip Girl, Modern Family, Absolute Boyfriend and Lie To Me, I think that ANTM got lost somewhere between. I know I should not and must never compare them because they are of different genres and are targeting different audiences, but as a viewer, I cannot help it.

I cannot stop myself from feeling hyper and nauseous every time I watch FRINGE. I do not really find the characters good-looking nor interesting but I get interesting anecdotes from Absolute Boyfriend. Gossip Girl’s enigmatic ways and witty lines make up for the bitchiness and bitterness of its lead cast. Modern Family is a must-see TV series for every American Family (and being Filipino, I still can relate to it) I find most Japanese story lines and themes weird like Satorare and I like Tim Roth’s cockiness and brains after being glued to Lie To Me.

FRINGE. I love everything about Fringe.

Modern Family I love Gloria’s character

Lie To Me. Now, I have suddenly become conscious about lying. XD

Zettai Kareshi, Absolute Boyfriend. Got me dehydrated.

Gossip Girl Funny how they seem to practice ‘inter-breeding’

Satorare means “Transparent”. Literally, the lead character’s thoughts can be heard within 20 meters.

TV series are for those who are insatiable. It is for those who are up to the challenge of knowing their limits versus sleepiness and boredom. It is for those like my friend, Jennie who is every movie director’s dream audience (cries at the right time, smacks the nearest person when something funny happens, etc.).

I love it that I was able to contain my hunger for TV series until this week (no more thesis, yeah!). I ma happy that I can prove their existence and purpose. Most of all, I am happy to be able to find the perfect reason to lose myself. Now, I can choose not to sleep..

P.S. My favorite is Naima, before I was informed/ spoiled by my friend that she emerged as Cycle 4 winner.

Naima, ANTM Cycle 4 winner